Rationally Irrational Fears

My absolute biggest fear is that someone is going to break into my house while we are here. No question about it. I have no explanation for it, other than watching all of the Scream and Halloween movies religiously as a teenager. 

When living at home with my parents I was always scared that there really is no place in the house where you cannot be seen from a window, most of those windows have curtains hanging above them but it just completely freaked me out that, at night, there was no where to stand without being in view of a window. And for some reason I was always convinced someone was watching from outside. Again, with no legitimate reason as to why I felt this way. 

I’m the person that while I’m in the shower, I’m convinced that the noise I hear outside the bathroom is the person that has been hiding in a closet coming to murder us all. 

I’ve slowly gotten over this fear, I have, what I consider, a healthy fear which manifests itself into habitually locking doors, closing blinds or curtains after dark, and being aware of my surroundings. I’ve made progress and have found ways to cope with the anxiety. 

Still, every once and a while I will hear a noise, usually while I’m in bed, that freaks me out a little bit. There’s almost always and explanation and most of the time I fall back asleep. Last night was no different. I’m pretty sure last night’s weird noise was a combination of Bruno snoring and the furnace running. I fell asleep with no problem, then woke up startled by a vivid dream I had. 

Very rarely am I affected by the dreams that I have, usually not even remembering them after I wake up, but for some reason the combination of elements in this dream were incredibly thought provoking and a little creepy. 

I was walking down a dirt road near a place I grew up vacationing as a child. I was pushing a bike down the road with two people, one was a friend I have lost touch with, the other person drifted in and out, I can’t place her. At some point we went from riding the bike to pushing it. I kept telling them how excited I was to get to the cabin and relax for a while, and how happy Gus Gus was going to be when we got there. We kept walking and chatting and at one point the girl up front (random girl I can’t place) stops, looks into the woods and screams. We all stopped and in the woods were rows and rows of people sitting in nice dress clothes wearing silver masks that covered half of their faces. They were all looking straight at us. We screamed and they just turned their heads, kind of like dogs do when you’re talking to them. It was incredibly eerie. 

Then I woke up. Creeped out. 

That one dream was enough to put me off as I walked downstairs this morning. My paranoia went into overdrive and I, at 5:30am, turned on every light as I started my day going from room to room. Thankfully we have a small house, not too many places to hide. Bruno and Allie followed close behind me as backup. When I felt like all was clear we went about our morning routine of going outside and feeding the cats. Once I had my guard dog back inside I sat down on the couch and started googling the meaning of my dreams.

Dreams in the woods

People with masks in dreams

Walking in the woods dream

I didn’t have an epiphany of any kind, but essentially took away that I am feeling unsettled about something. I suppose that could be multiple things, but I’m sure our current way of life has influence. Either way, the manner in which my brain illustrated this dream is rather odd. The people, the location, the goal (to get to my favorite place), the fact that we are walking with a bike, and the damn woods full of creepy masked people. An odd combination of elements, indeed. 

There’s no real morale to the story with this one, other than I am a little paranoid, and use my pets as protection from nonexistent bad guys. 

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