I’ve thought a lot about you in the last four days, which is interesting considering I’ve never met you and chances are that I never will. There are laws that keep us a part. To be honest, I still struggle to understand those laws, but I know they are there to protect us both.
I wonder where you’re from, what your life is like, and your motivation to do such a selfless thing. Are you spending time with family this weekend? Do you celebrate Christmas? Is there snow on the ground where you are? Are you anxious about what all of this means for you? I wish I knew more about what this means for you.
All I know is what it means for me. It means that I have the potential to live out the rest of my life with my best friend, that my husband might be able to think beyond the next 18 months, and that we could, once again, push play on our lives. You see, for the last year, almost exactly a year, our lives have been on hold. We have been living week to week, treatment day to treatment day waiting for the appointment where they say we are ready for the next step. Two months of hoping it was just the flu or bronchitis, another month to find the right treatment plan, and six months of treatment. The time has come, you’ve entered our lives and yet, I know no more about you than any stranger I see walking down the street.
But here I sit, on Christmas Eve, thinking about you and hoping you realize the gift you’ve given my little family. We are able to spend the next few days enjoying time with our families and with each other. We are starting 2017 knowing there is a plan, and what the next step is. It’s comforting. You’ve offered us comfort for the holiday season, and come the day when our lives collide, you will give us hope. Hope that, finally, there is a treatment that will give us more time. It will be the biggest fight of our lives, there will be days where we will be terrified, tired, hopeless, and desperate for relief. There will be days where I forget to be grateful, for you, your family, your selflessness, and the gift you gave us. Please know, that even on those days, deep down, I will be thinking of you.
I hope that someday I will be able to express my gratitude so that you will be able to feel it. I hope that on this holiday weekend that you are happy, that you find time to laugh, and spend time with the people you love. Please know that we will be able to do that because of you.